January 9th, 2012

I remember one time, when I was a little girl, arriving very hungry at a hotel. We had been in a car for hours and hours and hours, but this was a business trip for my mom that we kids were tagging along on, so when we finally got there, she had to go straight to a meeting. For this reason, my brother and I were allowed the exquisite, exotic pleasure of ordering room service. Anything we wanted, we were told. That meant pizza, of course! We were so excited, and so hungry, and then came the knock on the door, and pizza was in the room with us, and then we opened the little box… and it had raw carrots on it.

As you can imagine, this quickly became a difficult situation for everyone. We were so hungry, my brother and I, and now there was no prospect of eating in our future. Which is scary and painful, and meant that Mom was stuck with two crying kids and a meeting to get to. I wonder why this memory has stayed with me all these years. I can still see those shredded carrots today.

Well, one thing is certain, we won’t be pulling any tricks like that on you. Our general manager is, well frankly, too Midwestern for that. When she went to update the room service menu this time around, for example, she got very excited, and adamant, about putting popsicles on it. She’s very proud to offer tater tots as an optional side. Don’t get me wrong, our variety of salads, sandwiches, entrees and deserts is well rounded, assembled by a professional chef and will satisfy a wide range of cravings. The thing is, we just won’t be taking any risks, trying to get trendy, or anything like that. When you order off of our room service menu, you’ll always get what you expected.

December 20th, 2011

Here in California, we love the holidays as much as they do anyplace else. Our streets are glittering with lights, our ovens are filled with cookies and we’re bustling from party to party, just like the rest of the country. Sometimes, though, the details get a bit screwy here in the golden state. I guess because all the traditional seasonal activity isn’t necessary in these parts. It means something really different, for example, to light up the cold, dark, otherwise depressing winter days in Chicago, than it does to string lights on a palm tree. To carry a warm bag of freshly roasted chestnuts while walking around the freezing streets of New York City is a comfort that we just can’t relate to with flip-flops on our feet. Still, we too deserve a little romance!

This is the spirit that brings us the likes of snowfall inside downtown San Francisco’s Hyatt Regency. That’s right, no less than three times a day, through December 31st, it’ll snow inside the Hyatt. A white Christmas, after all, seems very important from everything that we’ve seen on TV. Except that in this case, if you want respite from the harsh elements, you’ve got to go outside!

In another twist on the same logic, downtown San Jose offers outdoor ice-skating for the holidays. It’s best not to think about how much energy it’s taking them to keep that water frozen and instead just enjoy skating in a T-shirt, under a clear blue sky, around a little grove of palm trees. With lights on them.

My favorites, though, are the ones that we’ve actually just bent to suit our needs, and the Surfing Santas are my favorite example of that. Every year, just after Thanksgiving, a cadre of Santa Clauses surfs into Santa Cruz. This makes sense; this belongs to us. And, truly, the icy Pacific is one of the few places in this state where the bulk of Santa Claus’ suit is actually justified. Everywhere else, you just end up feeling bad for the poor sweaty guy who’s stuck pretending he’s in Minnesota.

If you’re here with us this holiday, take a tour. There’re lots more little gems that I haven’t mentioned. Scantily clad Mrs. Clauses, iced mulled wine. You get the idea. Christmas in California!

December 19th, 2011

The holidays have become so controversial. Have you noticed? There’s a war on Christmas and it seems that each of us has got to choose a side. Yuck! I don’t know about you all, but it makes me miss my childhood. Everything seemed so simple then. The holidays were a time for extended family, special food, special clothes and twinkly lights all over the place, plus a hint of the possibility of magic. Maybe it was called Hanukkah in your house, or Kwanzaa, or Festivus. It doesn’t matter what name you use, we’re all celebrating the winter solstice, and we all stole it from the pagans. Now, though, the whole season has been politicized and commercialized and it’s hard to know if it’s our duty as Americans to spend lots of money in the next weeks and give businesses the holiday revenues they so desperately need, or if we should rise above capitalist pressures and act as if nothing special at all were happening at this time of year.

Well, we here at this hotel want only to be in love with the holidays. We come from so many different cultural, religious and economic places, and for each of us this is a special time of year, even if we’ll choose to express it in different ways. You, our guests, only complicate the variety. And it’s so great! We’re so grateful to live in a time and a place where we can be surrounded by such a diversity of experience. To be working in a hotel that receives guests from around the world, in the Bay Area, in the 21st century, gives all of us a special privilege. We are all wealthier and stronger for the ways that we meet each other here and, on the occasion of this holiday season, we would like to take a moment to acknowledge it. We’ve said it before and here it is again: This hotel is a community and we are so pleased that you are a part of it. Happy Holidays!

November 28th, 2011

Filling out comment cards can, at least to me, feel like voting. It’s good to express my opinion, but what power, really, do I have to influence the world around me? Well this month, as proof that the people do have the power, I’m introducing you to our brand new linen re-use program. Some of you are wondering what that has to do with democracy, I know, but lots and lots of you are reading this and understanding that we read your comments and changed our hotel at your suggestion.

It’s the right thing to do, of course. A daily washing of every sheet and towel that makes even the briefest of human contact is as wasteful as you all told us it was. Almost none of you are doing this much laundry at home and we are all going to be intrinsically better people for our participation in this new program. Plus it’s going to save us money, which is itself kind of amazing. So often the pressure to “go green” involves adding to one’s cost of living, making it seem more like fashion for the privileged than a genuine bid to save the world. But I digress, as they say. The point is that, in spite of all the evidence of it being the obvious thing to do, this humble little hotel wasn’t making that change until you told us to. Inertia, habit, laziness and preoccupation with the failing economy are not even all the reasons why not. We just hadn’t gotten there yet. So, thank you! And please come back soon to enjoy this hotel that is now slightly better and slightly more your own.

August 18th, 2011

This morning I head on the radio that studies have shown that a certain percentage of women are overweight because they spend so much time and money getting their hair styled and then they don’t want to mess it up by working out. I wonder how much university funding went into the surgeon general officially saying what I’ve known since the day my mom explained to me that she doesn’t work out because sweating is “gross”.

Similarly, in the last year science has discovered that it’s bad for your long-term health to get hit in the head repeatedly. A career in professional football, it turns out, might be hazardous and those who have played might suffer consequences in later life. Maybe I’m wrong, but I thought we all pretty much instinctively understood that getting hit in the head is not good. I would go, even, a step further and say that what we like about watching professional athletes is their willingness to use their bodies in ways that we are, well, unwilling to because it’s too dangerous. And now we’re supposed to act surprised and horrified to learn that these men leave football broken? Not that it isn’t sad and not that these men don’t deserve care and recognition, but did that really, truly need to be studied?

In any case, football season has arrived. For those of you who haven’t turned away since you learned that it’s violent, we’ll be, as always, serving all your favorite stadium food, hamburgers and hotdogs that is, every Monday night until 8, all season long. Complimentary, of course, cuz that’s how we roll.

July 24th, 2011

This month we are using this space to remind you that there are things you can rent a room in a hotel for besides sleeping. Maybe, from time to time, you have other needs. Perhaps you’ve wondered whether or not we could accommodate those desires. Well, the answer is that we have rooms that offer a wide range of possibilities, and have no problem helping you to host even a pretty large group. We are very experienced and quite flexible. That’s right, I’m talking about the meeting rooms!

We have large meeting rooms and small meeting rooms. We can set your meeting up classroom style, with whiteboards and rulers for rapping knuckles. Or we can open the room up and run a buffet along the wall. Speaking of the buffet, we have a nice range of menus from you to choose from when you book one of our meeting rooms. From contemporary California cuisine to home style Mexican to random recipes from the kitchen of our general manager, you’ll find something to suit the tone of your event. And if you don’t, then complain and we’ll figure it out!

I’ll say this: If you’re reading this, chances are you already love spending the night with us. And if you love going to bed with us, I’m pretty sure you’ll love us in the daytime too.

June 24th, 2011

The day after Osama bin Laden was killed, I saw a comedian do a sketch, on The Daily Show, in an airport. He had a Big Gulp and a machete and he said he was ready to get on an airplane. He appeared crestfallen when Jon Stewart told him that airport security is here to stay. Maybe the machete was a bit much, but I think all of us who travel can relate to that. We wish the terrorists would go away and flying could get back to pre-911 mode.

Toiletries are the worst. The rules about liquids are fuzzy and seem to vary slightly from airport to airport. For sure you can’t just transfer what’s already in your shower into your bag and go. The decision is, do you want to reduce your supply of lotions, shampoos and other essentials down to what will fit into a sandwich bag? Or do will you choose to take as much as you want and pay the hefty new baggage checking fees?

Why do we travel with toiletries at all, though? Every hotel in the world comes with basically everything you need right there in the room. The answer, which we all know, is that what comes in most hotel rooms mostly, for lack of a better word, sucks. Not here, not anymore! From now on, when you’re flying to this hotel, you can leave those cumbersome toiletries behind and rest assured that your hair and skin will be soft, and have the gentle smell of fresh citrus. We’ve got new toiletries!

May 24th, 2011

I’ve been walking around lately with a Christmas song in my head. Do you know the one that goes, “It’s the most wonderful time of the year”? That line spins round and round in my head each day as I feel the sun warmer and warmer on my face. I’m sorry that whoever wrote those lyrics was so turned around, but I’m thankful to have a tune to welcome summer back with. Summer is coming everyone! This, truly, is “the most wonderful time of the year”!

And if summer is back that means that Wednesday night poolside BBQs are back too! That’s right, for all the months that the sun stays high and the air stays warm, we do the only thing that makes sense: Fire up the grill. You’re invited to join us every Wednesday night this summer for dinner by the pool. We’ll be cooking steak and chicken, baked potatoes and corn. A variety of salads and deserts round out a meal even a vegetarian can love. And, of course, the bar will be open throughout the night. Plus, a night in at the Inn is the perfect opportunity to try out one of our many board games. Maybe you can get to know a coworker, or even to make a new acquaintance or two. If you’ve never joined us for a Wednesday night BBQ before, you’re in for a treat. It’s one of our favorite traditions and we’re excited that its time has come yet again.

April 25th, 2011

As this country ekes its way out of recession, we here at the Cupertino Inn want to be a bit frank with you. The last couple of years have been rough! Maybe you noticed that the breakfast buffet was sparsely populated. Maybe, on checking in, you were asked if you might not want a second room to keep your luggage in. Maybe you never noticed at all; hotels are transient places, and, anyway, you probably had your head in your own recession woes. The point is, in recent times you could pretty much just saunter in here at any old time and get yourself a room. More and more, though, these days, as we are proud, relieved and just the slightest bit sorry to say, it’s seeming like it’s officially time to announce, once again, that you’d better make a reservation if you want to stay at the Cupertino Inn.

And, actually, in the glow of our newfound bounty, there may even be a time when you call to make your reservation and find that we are already booked. In that case, our reservations manager might suggest that you stay someplace called The Grand Hotel, in some faraway land called Sunnyvale, instead. This could be disconcerting, we know, so we’d like to take a moment to explain ourselves a little bit.

First point of clarification is that the Silicon Valley is actually a massive suburban web that meanders along, changing names every so often, perhaps just for sport. Thus you could, for example, start out in Santa Clara, walk a few blocks, cross a street and be in Sunnyvale and a few blocks later you’d cross another street and end up in Cupertino. Though the idea of staying in a whole other city sounds like it will be disorienting and make you late for work, actually the Grand Hotel is a five minute drive from the Cupertino Inn. No worries.

Next, and more important, while the two hotels try very hard to maintain their separate characters, the Cupertino Inn thinking of itself as homey and down-to-earth, and the Grand Hotel maintaining a more dignified elegance, they are, essentially, the same. Same ownership, same management. The staff trades back and forth, sometimes within a single day. Sammy serves breakfast at the Grand Hotel and cocktails at the Cupertino Inn, for example. Adam, infamous taker of any shift anytime no matter what, will happily start his day at the Cupertino Inn, pop over for a quick 8 hours at the Grand, then hop back for a graveyard in Cupertino, if we don’t watch him closely enough. And, oh-so-importantly, they have identical happy hours and breakfast buffets. If you like the Cupertino Inn, you’ll like the Grand Hotel and vice versa. That’s a promise!

March 27th, 2011

Our rooms are pretty steadily booked up these days. At night our bar is full of smiling faces. We get pretty favorable comment cards. Some of you even claim to read this newsletter. It kinda seems like you like us, maybe. The thing is, we’re just not sure if you’re really, truly our friends. Real friends, you know, willing to admit to the whole world that you’re with us. Like on facebook, for example.

The thing is, actually, I have to admit we’re not very popular on Facebook, and we’re feeling kind of self-conscious about it. It’s like we’re the school nerd who no one wants to sit with at lunch. And, so, in the spirit of Sixteen Candles, Can’t Buy Me Love and who knows how many other cinematic gems of teen angst, we’re offering to pay for popularity! For every hundred new friends we get on facebook, we’ll keep happy hour going at the bar for an extra hour. And how will you know about these super happy days, you ask? Well, by checking in with us on facebook, of course!

This is shameless bribery, for sure. Forgive us. We didn’t choose this modern world, but here we are in it. In the good old days, like two years ago, a hotel could know she was doing well by having rooms full of familiar faces. Now, though, we have to wonder why, though you continue to stay with us, you won’t proclaim your affection to the world. Are you ashamed of us? Are we comfortable, but not cool? Oh, please, help! Be our friends! This social network anxiety is killing us!