The new Miss America, and the way she was received by Twitter, has exposed yet another facet of racist ignorance this week, just when we maybe thought we had seen all there was to see about it. Stephen Colbert’s observation is the most astute and succinct description of the illogic of the response to her crowning, so I’ll just quote him and move on. “People saw a woman in a bikini and thought ‘Muslim extremist.’” That’s nuts.
One great thing about the age of social media is that the people who would call an Indian American an Arab, or say that because of the color of our president’s skin, he must be working for Al Qaeda, they expose themselves. It’s not that people weren’t saying things like this in the past, it’s that the rest of the world didn’t know about it, so they all just got to keep on believing they were right. In this new day, where everyone can share whatever they want with whomever will pay attention, people are outing all their craziness, and then they have to deal with the world calling them out on it. All those people who tweeted hateful, and even just geographically false, things about the new Miss America this week, they’ve been publicly shamed. They’ve been taught that India is not the Middle East, and maybe next time will know, when they come across that particular shade of brown skin, that they don’t necessarily have any information about where that person’s ancestors came from. It feels awful to have to look at every new version of racism that the internet digs up, and it can seem like it must be worse now than it’s ever been before because we’ve never seen so much all at once, but maybe this is actually the beginning of the end. First we have to let all the racists show themselves, and, little by little, we can hold them accountable.
As you may have heard, as of yesterday, our new bridge is open! A mere 24 years after its predecessor collapsed in an earthquake, the half that failed has been replaced. And what, you ask, about the other half, the half that was, presumably, engineered in the same way as the part that fell down? Well, we’ve been assured that that side is OK. Only replacing half the bridge, we’re told, may be coincident with a lack of funds, but it’ll also be safe enough. It stayed up last time, after all.
The new half is spectacular, to be sure. It’s wide and open and so it lets you see how wondrously expansive the bay is. Driving on it, there’s a momentary sense of being far out into the remote reaches of the world, even though a couple of seconds later you’re smack in the middle of downtown San Francisco. It’s got a path for bikers and pedestrians too, which I’m guessing will give all the above feelings, magnified about a thousand times. The San Francisco bay is one of the world’s beautiful treasures and this new bridge shows it off very well.
But, that bike path leads only to Treasure Island. Rather than, finally, a way for bikers to access the city from the East Bay, we’ve been given a tourist adventure. We can now ride out to Treasure Island, where there are neither stores nor restaurants, enjoy the (truly) magnificent view, and then turn around and go back to where we came from. And I suppose it’ll continue this way until another earthquake comes around and knocks the old half down and then, 24 years after that, we can have the matched set.
Our new bridge, in conclusion, is beautiful and imperfect.
A layperson’s question for all of you working in the tech industry: Is Elon Musk going to change the world? Or are these promises he makes, these ideas he floats out to the world, actually too good to be true?
I ask that now because I’m in love with the idea of the hyperloop that he’s proposed to run between Los Angeles and San Francisco. Half an hour to make the trip, he promises, and at a cost of only $20. Travel would be revolutionized. Pretty soon, I guess, we’d be going to New York for dinner, popping up to Seattle for coffee with an old friend. It’ll be just like in all the Phillip K Dick novels I’ve been binge reading lately. And he, Musk, talks about it like it’d be a pretty simple thing to get together. He’s got the design all in order, it’s just a matter of whether he can be bothered to take the time away from his other projects. We should all write to him, I thought, reading about it, beg, plead, send flowers and homemade pies. Please make us a hyperloop, we’d say, and soon enough he’d acquiesce and we’d get to live in the future.
But then I read a little further. He’s a very glamorous man, Mr. Musk, clearly brilliant and bold and visionary, but nothing has QUITE worked yet. Tesla has only made just a few cars. SpaceX launched one rocket. He himself seems to be really actively hoping it all goes well. He’s certainly giving us a vision of what could be, but is it unsafe to get emotionally involved in his vision of the future? Is it wiser to look at his two divorces and use that as an indicator of just how prescient he really is? What are you all thinking about this wild and wondrous man?
Not to stereotype, but I went to an event last night that I think a lot of you all may have enjoyed. It was called “Science Neat” and it was held at a bar in San Francisco, so, in spite of the sting of the typecast, I’ve just mentioned a couple of your big interests, no? There were booths set up all around the outdoor space with hands on experiences to try for yourself, all relating to the night’s theme of color. We were invited to mill around for a bit, delighting ourselves with color based optical illusions, a chance to experiment with color combining, and a few other random little treats. Then we gathered around, with our drinks and our friends, to listen first to a PhD candidate in marine biology, who told us why fish are different colors, and then to a doctor of neuroscience/amateur magician, who told us why we can’t observe magic tricks. In short, it was an awesome night out.
The thing about this “Science Neat” is that it’s a copycat of a thing called Nerd Night that’s been happening in cities all around the world. There are two official Nerd Nights that happen in the Bay Area and they sell out, especially the San Francisco one, and there’s enough overflow to support copycats, like the one I went to last night, which, incidentally, was stuffed to the gills.
Next Monday night is the next East Bay Nerd Night and it hasn’t sold out yet. There’ll be presentations on the strength of materials, on platypuses and on oysters. And there will, of course, be beer. I so very highly recommend this.
There’s a lot of doom and gloom to be found lately, war, economic crisis, impending environmental catastrophe, and a dysfunctional congress being only just the first, most obvious points to hit. It’s easy to fall into an idea that humanity is kind of on a dead end trip. Recently, though, there was a tiny little story that carried with it the thought that there may, actually, be infinitely more ahead of us. NASA admitted that they have a tiny little project devoted to warp speed. Warp speed!
Not pretending to understand the first thing about physics, and knowing for certain everyone reading this knows more about it than I do, I can only repeat what I read. What I read, though, is that there is a small team at NASA that understands that new discoveries about the nature of the physical world must be made to achieve this science fictional goal, but that they kind of believe they can do it. That is, they believe that they can demonstrate the possibility of technology that fractionalizes the time it takes to travel between planets and stars.
I apologize for whatever ignorance I’m betraying here, I understand that I’m on shaky ground writing to tech people about science. This is a little bit exhilarating, though, from my humble layman’s point of view. Space travel could become more accessible, meaning that the frontiers could get burst wide open, with unimaginable possibilities lying in waiting. The things that made up the fantasies of my childhood could actually become practical realities. I feel foolish even writing this, and yet as I’m writing it to the people who brought us the weird and magical internet and all its wonders, I get the sense that maybe you understand. There’s a lot more possibility in the world than what we can see.
If you’re reading this, chances are you’re someone who travels a lot for work. Being in and out so much means you don’t always get to spend the time with, and give the care to, spouses, friends and family that you would like to, no? And when you are there, it’s easy to feel too tired to make any special efforts. Sure, it’d be nice to do a little something nice for a loved one who misses you when you’re away, but when jet lag is hanging like a ton of bricks taped to your temples, it’s hard to imagine summoning the energy, creativity or, well, the energy for such an endeavor.
And now, instructions for the easiest, most decadent, and very sincerely the most wonderful treat ever invented in the history of the world: Bacon wrapped dates! There are two ingredients and three instructions. Ready? Pre-heat the oven to 450, cut strips of bacon in half, wrap the half strips around dates, put them in the oven for 20 minutes. The end. What comes out of that oven after 20 minutes will make you, and whomever you’re sharing these with, cry tears of joy and gratitude for the beauty and pleasure that the world is capable of delivering. You may be shaming me for hyperbole as you read this, but that’s because you haven’t tried them yet. And so simply and easily you could be responsible for bringing this level of enjoyment to someone you love. You’re welcome.
I’ve got some gendered activity ideas for your next trip to the Bay Area. I know that proposing separate activities for men and women is not really the thing to do in this day and age, but I’m going for it anyway because of a study out of the Institute for Health Metrics and Evaluation at the University of Washington. Bear with me, or at least wait until the end of these few little paragraphs to decide I’m a bigot.
Men, the next time you’re here, take a drive up to San Francisco. Watch the locals running up and down those huge hills, or, even worse, pushing bikes along the same paths. It looks awful, I know, but they’re getting through it. Pay attention, next, to all the dudes eating kale. Kale salad, kale chips, raw, unadulterated leaves of kale. We all know it doesn’t taste good, no matter what you do to it, but they’re eating it like it’s real food. Why am I asking you to do this, you ask? Because San Francisco has the lowest rate of obesity for men in the country. What the guys up there are doing may not look like a ton of fun, but it’s keeping them skinny.
Women, for you the drive will take you a little further up the coast. You’ll be taking a tour of Marin county. Check out a yoga class in Sepastapol, a dharma talk at the Green Gulch meditation center. Maybe take a long stroll along the beach. As you’re making this tour, take a look around at the local ladies. In their long, flowing layers, with their crystals and, really, maybe even a few bindis here and there, you may feel like you’re drowning in new age clichés, but before you dismiss them en masse, listen to this: Women in Marin County have a longer life expectancy than any other group in the nation.
Of course, women can run up hills and men can meditate. I guess the real point of this that sometimes all the California stereotypes work. Why not check a few out the next time you’re in town?
It’s been hot. Which anyone who’s been hanging around here in the last week does not need to be told. Earlier this week a heat advisory was issued for Northern California. It was the first heat advisory I’d ever heard of, though maybe they happen every year and I miss them. It was a little scary, though. What is the difference between beach weather and a dangerous, scalding inferno, and would we be sharp enough to know the difference?
At least we weren’t in Death Valley or Palm Beach where the temperatures hung out in the 120′s.
The wave has passed now, thankfully. Today is cloudy and cool. But it seems that this summer is going to be warm and if you’re scheduled to come through here when it’s hot again, and the thought of 100+ degree weather is making you a little panicky, then now is the perfect time for me to let you in on San Francisco’s dirty little secret: It’s always cold there. Now, I know that the idea of cold is relative. Some of you live through winters that get to something like 20 below zero and San Francisco will never get below 35, but 35 in the summer is really a bummer. Especially when it’s 85 just outside city limits. Normally this is this horrible thing that people find out only when they arrive for a visit with light suitcases full of shorts and dresses, ready for California summer. Right now, though, it’s not a bad escape from a heat wave. Take a hike in the Presidio, walk the length of Golden Gate Park. You will never, ever get sunstroke, but don’t forget to bring a sweater.
There’s a commercial playing on the radio now involving a guy in a hotel room calling room service and asking them to bring him something from McDonald’s. Have you heard it? Whomever he’s talking to refuses and he protests, saying that they had told him they’d do anything to make him comfortable. With that the employee is defeated and must, presumably, run off to McDonald’s.
The point of this is not to say that we, of course, would have just run straight to McDonald’s for you. I think that that will never, ever happen. There are some limitations. But, short of a McDonald’s run, there’s a lot of service that we’ve got available, and a lot more that we’re capable of improvising.
Here’s a fun example: Without naming any names, a guest arrived, sometime in the last few months, wearing only one shoe. The other he had left somewhere between the airplane he had come from and our front door. And so, as he was checking in, he asked the man behind the front desk if he could help to retrieve the lost shoe. Impossible, right? Well, thanks to a little bit of front desk magic, by the time he turned in for the night, that man once again had a complete pair of shoes.
Most of you check in, come down for breakfast in the morning, and check out. Maybe asking for a drink at the bar is all the asking you do while you’re here and otherwise you take care of yourself. That’s fine with us, and we’re happy to be giving you an easy place from which to take care of your own needs. But, just so you know, there’s a lot we can help you with, if only you’d ask.
It’s the first day of summer! Welcome to the season of pool parties and BBQs and beach days. The season where everyone gets a healthy glow, in spite of the best efforts of the SPF 45 we’re all slathering on these days. This is the time of year when fruity cocktails feel like an acceptable beverage choice, the season when Danielle Steele novels seem like acceptable reading material. Well, almost. But, hey, there’s a new Stephen King novel just out, and, yeah, sitting in the sun with a mai tai and Stephen King is kind of what summer is all about.
I know it sounds like I’m describing some dorky Hollywood cliché, and, well, that’s exactly what I’m doing, but, you know, a cliché gets to be a cliché because it describes something that lots and lots of people over a long period of time have found to be good or real. The deep, simple pleasure of relaxing into a long, hot day is damn near universal truth and we are now entering into the period where it’s possible to do just that, maybe even once a week. I know it’s possible to stay as busy as ever, work through weekends, and just notice that this is the time of year for air conditioning, but, if I may be so bold, don’t do it! Recharge your batteries in this glorious sunlight!
And, I must say, if ever there were a perfect setting for the kind of a day I’m describing, poolside at our little hotel is pretty close. You won’t even have to make your own drinks.
Happy summer everyone!