An outrage has been committed against this hotel and we are not going to stand for it! An article just ran in the San Jose Mercury News, listing all the “best” hotel bars in Silicon Valley. We here at The Cupertino Inn read eagerly along, wondering if they had been able to find the perfect adjectives to describe Sammy, butterflies in our stomachs in anticipation of this little moment of fame. Imagine, then, our shock and disappointment when we discovered that we did not make the list. No funny little anecdotes stolen from our lounge, no charming history of a signature cocktail. Sammy’s pomegranate martinis, and the way he learned to make them, would have made a cute, appealing little yarn, but I’m still the only one who would think to spin it.
Admittedly, our first reaction was shame. We did not make that list because we were not good enough, we considered. The pity party was short lived, though. Of course we should be on the list, we should be on top of it! One of these places is described as “a ski lodge that’s been frozen,” for goodness’ sake! This same one, they go on to say, is a place where older women go to pick up young men. The author’s credibility, and I am unclear about whether this was written by an older woman or a young man, having been sufficiently shaken, I would like to go on to say that not one of these places seems to offer complimentary drinks to anyone at anytime. Just the opposite, is what it looks like. These are the kinds of places, in fact, where you can pay lots of money for a drink called “recession proof.” Places, the author says, that are great to “see and be seen” in.
Well, actually, it’s true, that’s not us. No one cares who you are or what you look like in our bar. No one here wants to see you spending lots of money, in times of scarcity and poverty, on novelty drinks whose main purpose is to brag about your wealth. We hired a couple of the friendliest guys we could find to pour whatever you most like to relax with after a hard day’s work. We bought a few very comfortable chairs and couches to sit in with those drinks. We put up a big TV for the following of games and elections and such things. We put out a few of our favorite board games, thinking you might like them too. That’s it. The ambition of our bar ends there. If that’s not enough for this Mercury News writer, then we aren’t interested anyway.